May 1, 2007 On being Momma

What I do?
I am Momma. My older dd asked me, "Why can't I call you Sara?"

My answer was, "Because only two people in the whole world are important enough in my life to have the privledge to call me Momma."

I spent my whole life collecting moments, the savory pieces of emotion, memory, experience, heart ache. Tastes and flavors. Smells. Treasuring the lilac that leaves a scent so strong it can hurt- and then in a whisper is gone.
The imprint of a warm sun on my face. The smell of choclate. The power of a wave pulling me to sea. The incredible smallenss of standing under a star filled sky. Or the tears filling my eyes to overflowing seeing the majesty of Leonardo's work in the Vatican.
Spending an afternoon beside a brook, listening to the stories it has to tell.
Watching a small child with an elderly relative. Or stranger.
Hearing another's story.
Sitting in the grass and letting it tickle.
Finding a "good spot" in bed, on the sofa, on the beach.
Seeing an old friend.
Seeing a love lost.
Seeing your lover.

Feeling God's hand in your life, helping you choose right.
Knowing your friend needs you. Missing my grandmother. Missing my friend. Missing.

The spark that comes from creativity. The power of knowing you have made a difference. The buzz after performing an act of kindness. The bigger buzz when it is anonymous.

The struggle of self preservation, and empathy.
The gift of wonder.

All of these I gather in my heart and soul. For I know they will help me be the mother to you I want and dream to be.

This is what I do outside of photograghy.

What Else I do...

...outside the world of photograghy is the theme this week. For today- relax. Photograghy is a way for me to relax. But- sitting in my chair, hanging outside, having my trusty glass nearby of the beverage of the moment~ this is me today. Soaking up the sun, listening to my children play, saying hello to neighbors are all a part of my world.

HHCC is always welcome.

4 .29 .07 Da and the Grouchy Ladybug

I couldn't resist snapping this when I stumbled across this scene. Not to say Da is old~ well, maybe... just kidding Dad. All HHCC is welcome. I had played with the exposure and brightness on this in ACR- I'm working on getting the hang of exposure when using my flash! As always, defog and sharpening for web. Gradiant map layers for my conversion. TFL, and hope everyone is having a great weekend!

An old love

This qualifies as "old". This is one of the first things I saved up to buy all by myself. It cost a whole $30 back when I was in 6th grade. He is beloved.

My children now play with him, as you can tell by his attire.

This was a lot of fun to do, it brought back a lot of memories...especially how his nose used to be leather covered- but I rubbed it so often, it has worn/torn away. TFL!

You and Me...

Hello, Mini-me!!! I wish I had a profile shot of myself for comparison. Maybe that'd be a good challenge. And then maybe one of K and M and then I could make a storyboard...

It isn't so apparent in this photo, but this little imp is physically my mini-me. I love this photo, my six year old dd-K took it for us. She's coming along as a budding photo-bug, isn't she? Yeah, I wish all of my chins hadn't made it in- and that my hair wasn't in a ponytail. But I have made the decision recently that I need to allow my presence be documented as a part of my family- not just the one always behind the camera. And as I don't care if a photo isn't perfect, but captures the moment for those I love in my life, then Damn! if the same doesn't go for me too! I do not want to be a missing momma that the girls can't recall as they grow...not that I'm planning on going anywhere!
Steppig down now. Just wanted to shout out what I've been thinking lately. TFL, and HHCC on the first photo is very welcome.

Sisters sharing the path

Yup, I'm cheating- this is from Tuesday. What do you think of this? I find it all sorts of symbolic- two sisters on the same path/road, taking it their own way...yet, together. I hope this is a metaphor for their relationship for the years to come.
Settings: 1/250, 6.3, ISO 800. 50mm. ACR: adjusted color noise reduction, and lum. smoothing.
Thanks for looking, and HHCC is always welcome!

Grandma's serving platter

This goes back a few generations- 4, I think- which is what makes me cherisg a small silver serving dish. The grape pattern has always intrigued me. My grandmother used to have a Wedgewood set that was a gorgeous blue- with a similiar relief pattern on them0 but in white. I remember these dishes from the formal dinners in my grandparents' dining room- Grandpa was a formal kinda guy. It reminds me of being surrounded by all that family history, the way you could see the sunset from the dining room window, how you could look out the window on the side and see some silly decoration my grandmother had put out to cheer up the "waiting bench"~ Gram ran a nursery school for 40 years that was an addition built on to the house, connecting through a breezeway~ The Last Supper hanging over the buffet, the blue wallpaper, the swinging door like a real restaurant to the kitchen; how I first heard about the Grateful Dead during a Thanksgiving dinner in that room- how my husband had the opportunity to be a part of those traditions before they morphed into what we have now that "GG' has left her home.
I remember the endless jokes about how dinner was ready when the smoke detector sounded, how when it was time for pie my dad nad his siblings got up and got straws to make their point (I'd kill them!!! :) ). About how Thanksgiving was about remembering loved ones who passed on (it was an anniversary of a family member's death), how the mini tv in the kitchen- b&w with rabbit ears- was kept on just low enough that one of us could know when to go in and check the football score. How my cousin and I always did the wish bone at Thanksgiving.
I remember so vividly going into this room- surrounded by old furniture that held family "treasure", and just looking at all the glass. I remember feeling kinda reverent almost. YOu could take one step into that room and understand immediaelty how family tradition is. ABout how my family treasures passing along memntos and heirlooms, to keep those that have gone before us alive.
If you made it all the way through this novel, GOOD FOR YOU.
This was snapped quickly on a pillow under my den light. The only real mod I did was to boost the contrast +50 from +13. Settings: 1/50, 2.0, 800 ISO. This shot made me want a good macro lens...

Fairy Shadow

*I* believe in fairies! I was lucky enough to "catch" this one's shadow on our sheers- but she flew away before we saw her! :)
HHCC is welcome!

*smirk*...and there's nothing you can do about it!

This photo screams- HA! It's Easter, I'm at Great Grandma's, and I can eat all the chocolate she gives me, and there's nothing you can do about it!

-I swear, if you knew her, you'd believe me. Or, just look really closely. It's all there.

Settings: 1/160, 3.2, 800 ISO. 16-35 mm lens. PS- crop, defog, sharpened and sized for web, as well as a color boost with channel mixer.

3 13 07 Unadulterated joy

Do I need to say more???

Gotta love the first day that begins to feel like spring. She was too excited to search out her rainboots, and settled on her snow boots- wrong feet at that!

The color version was a little monochromatic- the only color was her brown pants, and the yellow parking lines. So B&W seemed just right. I'm not sure I love the framing, but hey, I got the capture- in manual, nonetheless!

Settings: 1/1000, 5.0, 200 ISO. 50 mm lens. Boosted contrast; otherwise, defog, sharpened for web and (obviously) converted to B&W.

Thanks for looking, and as always, HHCC is always welcome.

3 9 07 Determination

This isn't the best picture- I was in a bit of a rush. But- this growth on my rubber tree amazes me. my youngest poked a hole in this leaf last summer. But look what happened! The tree, life found a way. It's so symbolic of the power and strength of life and just plain determination. I hope you find it inspiring too.

3 7 07 She's not too old yet

Just when I was getting sad that she's getting so old...she dresses up and pulls out a ballerina bear to play with. Whew! There's no rush, little one.

2 28 07 My "Sister Friend"

Some people are lucky enough to be born with a sister that is their best friend. Not us. My very dearest friend and I both were born into families where we are the only girls. I think of her as the sister of my heart.

We met in sixth grade (oh man, 25 years ago- yikes), and were natural rivals. I was quiet, shy and afraid of my own shadow. She was loud, outspoken and exhuberant.

We were destined to be friends. Not until we both became friends with the same girls in a crowd did we learn to tolerate each other. At some point, we realized we actually liked each other.

My friend knows me better than most people in my life- and certainly longer. We have such an honest, no worries, I-got-your-back kind of relationship. It's never about who called last, how much time has past or who is doing what in life. We share humor, love of family, similar backgrounds and similar values (although never political beliefs~ I still can't believe she doesn't see it my way! :) ...

We share religion. We share a few friends still in common. We share caring about each other. We laugh. We've cried- but we both like laughing more. We share having the kind of honesty that we don't ever have to worry about editting what we say to each other. We just say it. If it comes out wrong, we laugh. If someone's feelings get hurt, we just say that- and then apologize- and then it's done.

Our friendship is one of my greatest treasures.

She scares the hell out of me, because she keeps having these funky medical problems that flirt with life and death. She goes in for yet another surgery today. It kills me that she'll be far away and I won't be able to see her in person afterward. I know she's going to be fine, because every three years or so she goes into a fresh, freakish medical crisis just to scare the crap out of all of us. It's just her thing.

My life has so much more, well, life with her in it. I wouldn't be me without her.

I don't mean to drag drama into this. I just mean to say I love my sister friend. I'm feeling especially sentimental and figured I'd write out how I feel. maybe I'll print this out for her.

Of course, she'll tease me mercilessly.

But, she knows I'm overly sentimental. And although she'd never admit it- she'd like it, too.

The bracelet is a silver bangle I bought when she scared me but good last time. i bought one for her in gold. I told her that even though I couldn't be with her in person every day, (she had to go and move up north!) she'd know I was wearing mine and that I'd be thinking of her. The Claddaugh is an Irish tradition- to give to someone you love that is separated from you. The hands represent friendship, the crown is for loyalty, and the heart is for love. Since we're both Irish (and hey, even if she wan't) it's just so fitting. So today I'll be wearing my Claddaugh.

2 23 07 2Ps

Sorry if you saw this already, but I'm pretty pleased with myself. I've wanted to take a photo like this for a while, just never really go it together to do. Tonight all the pieces came togehter at once, and I just had to do it! *Specs: RAW, 16-35 mm lens. 1/50, 2.8, 200 ISO. AR: boosted contrast, exposure. PS: sharpened, ran reduce noise, channel mixer, defog and sized for web. Hope you like it! Okay, had to include the funky one, too. Sorry, couldn't resist.

2 19 07 Can u read me?

I'm not telling... okay, yes I am. It says, "SARA". My attempt at a little humor...

Shot manually with my 75-300 lens. Settings all over the place. I'm not so great with storyboards, this is as creative as it gets. I wish I knew how to make pretty swirly things. But hey, I got a watermark on the second one. That's something! Hope you like this- and as always, HHCC is sought after and welcomed!

2 1 07 At play :)

I played last night...here's a take on the bikes from yesterday. And two of the latest in Girly Fashion Sport. Specs: RAW. 50 mm. 1/45, 2.5, 800 ISO (I was lazy and didn't want to drag out my flash)& 1/15, 2.5, 800. I had to play with WB, and run them through noise reduction. Otherwise they are defogged, sharpened and sized for web.

1 31 07 A few sports related photos.

These are both older images too. The bikes were left that way- it really cptured me. It seemed like, "childhood on pause" as the kids all took a break to go exploring around the yard.

The skating rink one is kyra waving to the Zamboni drivers. I ran channel mixer/color pop on both of these. Specs: Bikes- 50 mm, 1/125, 5.6, ISO 200. Rink- 50 mm, 1/60, 3.5, 400 ISO.

1 23 07 A Bright Spot in the Snow

Here are a few from yesterday am. She's such a character...the kids want all their snow gear for even the lightest dusting! Specs: RAW. 50 mm. 1/125, 2.8, 200 ISO for the first two, 3.5 for the third. All three are cropped. Boosted bright, lum smooth. PS: Defog, sharpened, sized for web.

1. 08. 07 It's me!

Hi, it's me!
I tried a lot of times yesterday to get this right... and so here it is. Things of note- I'm wearing my new fave hat, gift from my SIL, my enormous tee is from my alma mater (Cloumbia University), and my beloved 10D is topped off with my new flash, on my new tripod, with my new shutter release cord. It's all good. (Maybe next time I should at least do my hair and maybe add a little makeup?... :)

Particulars:

RAW.50mm, 580 EX, -1/2 comp.

1/3, 8.0, 400 ISO

PS- adjusted color, defog and sharpened. Cropped.

I shot at 8.0 hoping to get my camera and me both in focus. I chose 400 ISO hoping I could crop. HHCC please!