May 1, 2007 On being Momma

What I do?
I am Momma. My older dd asked me, "Why can't I call you Sara?"

My answer was, "Because only two people in the whole world are important enough in my life to have the privledge to call me Momma."

I spent my whole life collecting moments, the savory pieces of emotion, memory, experience, heart ache. Tastes and flavors. Smells. Treasuring the lilac that leaves a scent so strong it can hurt- and then in a whisper is gone.
The imprint of a warm sun on my face. The smell of choclate. The power of a wave pulling me to sea. The incredible smallenss of standing under a star filled sky. Or the tears filling my eyes to overflowing seeing the majesty of Leonardo's work in the Vatican.
Spending an afternoon beside a brook, listening to the stories it has to tell.
Watching a small child with an elderly relative. Or stranger.
Hearing another's story.
Sitting in the grass and letting it tickle.
Finding a "good spot" in bed, on the sofa, on the beach.
Seeing an old friend.
Seeing a love lost.
Seeing your lover.

Feeling God's hand in your life, helping you choose right.
Knowing your friend needs you. Missing my grandmother. Missing my friend. Missing.

The spark that comes from creativity. The power of knowing you have made a difference. The buzz after performing an act of kindness. The bigger buzz when it is anonymous.

The struggle of self preservation, and empathy.
The gift of wonder.

All of these I gather in my heart and soul. For I know they will help me be the mother to you I want and dream to be.

This is what I do outside of photograghy.

What Else I do...

...outside the world of photograghy is the theme this week. For today- relax. Photograghy is a way for me to relax. But- sitting in my chair, hanging outside, having my trusty glass nearby of the beverage of the moment~ this is me today. Soaking up the sun, listening to my children play, saying hello to neighbors are all a part of my world.

HHCC is always welcome.

4 .29 .07 Da and the Grouchy Ladybug

I couldn't resist snapping this when I stumbled across this scene. Not to say Da is old~ well, maybe... just kidding Dad. All HHCC is welcome. I had played with the exposure and brightness on this in ACR- I'm working on getting the hang of exposure when using my flash! As always, defog and sharpening for web. Gradiant map layers for my conversion. TFL, and hope everyone is having a great weekend!

An old love

This qualifies as "old". This is one of the first things I saved up to buy all by myself. It cost a whole $30 back when I was in 6th grade. He is beloved.

My children now play with him, as you can tell by his attire.

This was a lot of fun to do, it brought back a lot of memories...especially how his nose used to be leather covered- but I rubbed it so often, it has worn/torn away. TFL!

You and Me...

Hello, Mini-me!!! I wish I had a profile shot of myself for comparison. Maybe that'd be a good challenge. And then maybe one of K and M and then I could make a storyboard...

It isn't so apparent in this photo, but this little imp is physically my mini-me. I love this photo, my six year old dd-K took it for us. She's coming along as a budding photo-bug, isn't she? Yeah, I wish all of my chins hadn't made it in- and that my hair wasn't in a ponytail. But I have made the decision recently that I need to allow my presence be documented as a part of my family- not just the one always behind the camera. And as I don't care if a photo isn't perfect, but captures the moment for those I love in my life, then Damn! if the same doesn't go for me too! I do not want to be a missing momma that the girls can't recall as they grow...not that I'm planning on going anywhere!
Steppig down now. Just wanted to shout out what I've been thinking lately. TFL, and HHCC on the first photo is very welcome.

Sisters sharing the path

Yup, I'm cheating- this is from Tuesday. What do you think of this? I find it all sorts of symbolic- two sisters on the same path/road, taking it their own way...yet, together. I hope this is a metaphor for their relationship for the years to come.
Settings: 1/250, 6.3, ISO 800. 50mm. ACR: adjusted color noise reduction, and lum. smoothing.
Thanks for looking, and HHCC is always welcome!

Grandma's serving platter

This goes back a few generations- 4, I think- which is what makes me cherisg a small silver serving dish. The grape pattern has always intrigued me. My grandmother used to have a Wedgewood set that was a gorgeous blue- with a similiar relief pattern on them0 but in white. I remember these dishes from the formal dinners in my grandparents' dining room- Grandpa was a formal kinda guy. It reminds me of being surrounded by all that family history, the way you could see the sunset from the dining room window, how you could look out the window on the side and see some silly decoration my grandmother had put out to cheer up the "waiting bench"~ Gram ran a nursery school for 40 years that was an addition built on to the house, connecting through a breezeway~ The Last Supper hanging over the buffet, the blue wallpaper, the swinging door like a real restaurant to the kitchen; how I first heard about the Grateful Dead during a Thanksgiving dinner in that room- how my husband had the opportunity to be a part of those traditions before they morphed into what we have now that "GG' has left her home.
I remember the endless jokes about how dinner was ready when the smoke detector sounded, how when it was time for pie my dad nad his siblings got up and got straws to make their point (I'd kill them!!! :) ). About how Thanksgiving was about remembering loved ones who passed on (it was an anniversary of a family member's death), how the mini tv in the kitchen- b&w with rabbit ears- was kept on just low enough that one of us could know when to go in and check the football score. How my cousin and I always did the wish bone at Thanksgiving.
I remember so vividly going into this room- surrounded by old furniture that held family "treasure", and just looking at all the glass. I remember feeling kinda reverent almost. YOu could take one step into that room and understand immediaelty how family tradition is. ABout how my family treasures passing along memntos and heirlooms, to keep those that have gone before us alive.
If you made it all the way through this novel, GOOD FOR YOU.
This was snapped quickly on a pillow under my den light. The only real mod I did was to boost the contrast +50 from +13. Settings: 1/50, 2.0, 800 ISO. This shot made me want a good macro lens...

Fairy Shadow

*I* believe in fairies! I was lucky enough to "catch" this one's shadow on our sheers- but she flew away before we saw her! :)
HHCC is welcome!

*smirk*...and there's nothing you can do about it!

This photo screams- HA! It's Easter, I'm at Great Grandma's, and I can eat all the chocolate she gives me, and there's nothing you can do about it!

-I swear, if you knew her, you'd believe me. Or, just look really closely. It's all there.

Settings: 1/160, 3.2, 800 ISO. 16-35 mm lens. PS- crop, defog, sharpened and sized for web, as well as a color boost with channel mixer.